I'll See You In Your Dreams

I’ve heard all the night time salutations, but none of them ever brought me comfort like “I’ll see you in your dreams.” Good night is much too basic and, honestly, why are we talking like cave-people? Sweet dreams is nice, but there’s no intention and it sounds like a good chance for a cavity or belly ache. There’s too many bedtime rhymes that are associated with bed bugs which, as a full blown adult who once lived in a place with bed bugs, I think that is just F’d… but it truly dwindles any decent nighttime signatures to zilch.

I grew up with the basics myself, but as I matured and got weirder, “I’ll see you in your dreams” felt more and more appropriate. It rolls off the tongue. It comes out naturally. It means what it says and it says what I mean: I will see you in your dreams. I miss you. I wish you dreams. That is my way of wishing you a sweet slumber, and I hope to see you there, in your dreams. I mean, I get to spend all of my time with me and I fuckin’ love it! Soooo why wouldn’t you?

Kids get it! They truly love this nighttime address, and are often much more accepting than adults (who’s really shocked here?). Adults usually hear this phrase as creepy because adults are disgusting and tainted, but not the children. The children hear comfort and that they won’t be alone during the night, in the dark. Being alone in the dark was something I struggled with as a child, and even now I don’t love the dark. I remember the worry, that something, anything, could be somewhere when the lights were off. As soon as the door shut at night, I was no longer protected. Imaginations can be a wonderfully awful.

Maybe had I heard this phrase while trying to fall asleep more often, I might have slept a lil easier. Perhaps I wouldn’t have slept in my mom’s bed until seven. After so many nights of my father ripping me from the center of the bed, tearing down his human divider and throwing it into a twin mattress on the other side of the hallway. Adaptable and straight out of Beethoven, I learned to set up a sleeping bag between the wall and my mom’s bedside on the carpet: a pretty cozy nook where comfort was just a few feet above me. All night.

This became my nighttime phrase with my girlfriend’s kids and and they light up still. With wide grins, eager to return the greeting and, get the fuck to sleep might I add — kids are always excited to meet up. In dreams, we get to be and do whatever we want, choose and improv the entire experience. Waking up we fill each other in on our nighttime activities — our cat brought one of them pizza in his dreams, and our duck flew with the other boy to get ice cream and pooped sprinkles on the playground (there is always something with poop with lil boys, amiright?). I’ve had tons of dessert dates with my niece and apparently I can skateboard when I’m with my nephew. Smiles before bed, comforting slumber, and happy chatter in the morning — it’s a win-win.

I am sure at some point I mentioned how I do this to my therapist. Lez be honest, I am sure I ended an evening session with her with a quick, “I’ll see you in your dreams” because I know she loves me. She said based on her readings and scholarly research, this probably is a fantastic way to build some secure attachment with the children. [If you don’t know about attachment styles, read/listen to Attached by Dr. Levine & Hellner - 5 out of 5 stars!!] But, clearly there is some science here and

I say this to all of the children and most adults in my life, but it is my niece, Ella, who gives me the exact energy back. From the first time I put her to bed, I kissed her forehead and reminded her that I would see her in her dreams that night, and as the biggest grin crept onto her face, she retorted with a utter glee, “I hope so!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I am not sure anyone will ever be as excited as Ella is to see me in her dreams, but I hope everyone has at least one person. She drifted off beaming with excitement for whatever her dreams had in store for her… and me.