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Unfortunately, three years ago my mom died. The Friday night before Mother's Day, her heart went into cardiac arrest, and she was left not breathing for many minutes. Too many minutes, because she never woke up. Her body lay almost completely lifeless in the hospital for one week. There is nothing in the world that could prepare anyone for this. I was so far from prepared at twenty seven to sign DNR paperwork for my mom. That was just the beginning of things me and my siblings didn't even know we had to do, a theme I have learned when someone close to you dies.
My mom died suddenly and was just thinking about drafting a will right before she died. There is no explanation of how this works or what to do, and everything was learned along the way while grieving immensely. This is not only stupid, but unnecessary, and we need Funeral Handlers; Essentially the wedding planners of funerals. People in grief need someone to handle all of the questions and the idiots, frankly. People in grief need someone to handle the cold aunt who brings negativity and dopey uncle who wants to know why it's two nights of wake services instead of one. All of these people need to be shut down on a good day, and it's unfair to allow people in this vulnerable state to have to experience this at a time like that. A Funeral Handler is excellent for the economy, but also, a comforting alleviation to a person or family in grief. An ode to grief assistance.
This is job creation. I envision this role looking like someone who comes in hopefully before the person dies to capture the essence of what they want, need, request, and then this person is responsible for all of the service and funeral arrangements, with a few checks and balances along the way with the immediate family. Additionally, they'll follow up with the family on financial tasks like paperwork and contacting companies on their behalf, and basic emotional check-ins. Most people forget your grieving at least that entire first year for someone close to you, and usually longer. I didn't want to have to call the billing department at the hospital to pay for what insurance didn't cover. How the fuck do you charge me when you didn't save my mom? This seems cruel, looking back. What's worse is that you can and should negotiate to pay less because they'll almost always settle. So, for families who are poor and grieving, this seems like a cruel and unusual trick.
Lastly, like home healthcare aides, I think this should be covered under insurance and offered. I imagine plenty of people will not take advantage of this and prefer to handle things on their own, but what a difference this could make to others. A Funeral Handler can be hired externally or internally, like a close friend or family member who is removed enough.
Grief is awful, but it is a part of our lives. From my experience, whatever we can do to help each other out during this time makes a world of difference, and someone like a Funeral Handler could truly provide such needed comfort and ease during a tumultuous time. I hope to see some form of this in the future.